Stupid rules.

     I am always amazed when I run into a chick with rules. Instead of having class she makes up retarded standards to live by. She thought I would be impressed; I'm not. I am however holding it against her as strike one in the relationship.
     Please refrain from saying you don't kiss or fuck on the first date. I won't believe you because it's not true. If we had a good time and you like me; you are going to show it in some physical form. It's inevitable because I'm always going to be charming. Whether it is our first or third date you still won't know that I am an asshole. I'm going to be on my best behavior until I crowbar my cock between your legs. So save us both time and give it up early.
     If you say that you don't suck dick there is something wrong with you. You are either a liar or going to be alone your whole life. This bullshit is really common amongst girls who haven't had much sex experience. I have had women tell me they won't because of their religion, family values and every other non-related topic that has to do with my dick being dry. I will definitely put you to the test though. I will go down on you first and see if you don't show gratitude back. If so then enjoy falling asleep. Where I will gently rape your mouth and leave.
     If you still believe in your rules after this; please keep them to yourself. You will only look stupid when I get you to break them.