What's that smell?

Where I live, gas stations are run primarily by Habeebs.

What's a Habeeb?

Well, let me feed you baby bird.

A Habeeb, or Beeb, is someone of Indian (dot, not feather) decent who looks like they rolled in an ash tray before immigrating to our country. Most all Beebs prefer wearing sandals. If there were ever a group of people that should not wear sandals, Beebs are one of them. Imagine taking your foot and soaking it in cow shit for about 24 hours. Then, pour your favorite accelerant on your foot and light it. Let it burn for a good hour then stick it back in the cow shit to extinguish it. Once this stage is complete you can begin conditioning your new Beeb feet. Fill your bathtub with gravel, sand and broken glass. Get into the tub and stomp for 4 hours a day for 1 month. Make sure to always beat your toenails with a piece of rusty chain. That will give them a luster like no other. You also want your toenails as yellow as they can get. If they aren't, then you are bathing WAY too much. You should now have the perfect Beeb feet to slip into a pair of second hand desert slippers and show the world your custom pedi.

Beebs typically all smell alike. I am convinced that bathing is so far down on their list of daily activities that it is actually lower than stapling their balls to their inner thigh. It's that far down. They do, however, love incense. They can't get enough of this shit. Typically, some oily, patchoulli smelling ass air that fills whatever store they are working in.

Another very important accessory for a Beeb is bulletproof glass. Find me one Beeb in a store that doesn't have a 5 inch thick window of BP glass and I'll show you Mexican that doesn't have a velvet painting of a bullfighter in his hacienda.

Now, the most interesting thing about Beebs is, they are very passive creatures. No problems out of these gray/brown smurfs. They talk funny enough to where it bothers me but it's so ridiculous sounding that you can't help but laugh.

They appeal to black people in these areas. Every Beeb always has an adjacent urban wear clothing store or cell phone store that they own as well. They know what's up. They also stock the premier goods that black folk love. Read my post on Blacks and Milds and you will understand.

It still would suck to be a Beeb though. The smell, the greasy hair, the ash-colored brown skin, the feet, the women...OH, I forgot the women.

Quick, name a hot female Habeeb. I'll wait.

...

THERE ISN'T ONE! Beeb women have the face of a camel's dick. If you're into camel dick, then India may be the place for you to do some sport fucking. They smell like an 80 year old woman's vag marinated in curry. Not a good thing.

I'll dive deeper into Beebisms in a future blog. For now, you have enough information to keep you aware.

So, the next time you see a Beeb and wonder why your eyes are watering and you feel like someone poured cat piss in your mouth - you'll know.